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House of Woe

I’m starting to doubt the wisdom of this but its far too late to turn back.. even though I did not start this .. I need to finish it. Too many lives hang in the balance both figuratively and literally ,my own being one of them if I should fail.All these years I have wondered who my birthparents were, when I found out , I was ready to close the door… I had closed the door but it seemed fate was not willing to let it rest. It had no care about ripping open old wounds. and exposing the festering feelings that bubbled underneath the surface. I had no illusions that my birthfather would sweep me up ,and take to meet his other family,proudly displaying me as his child.. that was only a fairytale.and I had long since given up on fairytales.I just had no idea ,that he hated me so much that he would send others to kill me ,and my mother , who I learned was his legal wife at the time. I was not some bastard ,he wanted to rid himself of,but his first born. My only crime.. I was not the male heir he had been hoping for.. unfortunately I would have been his only child, as the birth had been hard on my mother,and the midwife told him, my mother could never have other children.

I don’t know why but for some odd reason, I wished my sire would accept me as his ..but such wishes were not meant to be..strange as it seems, his wife Reaylm has accepted me..though not my mother, by blood, she treats me as if I were..she knew me when I was barely a month old,,and saved my life when my father’s assassins, came to end it . Though I loved both my foster parents,I always felt out of place, disconnected in some ways. She didn’t have to accept me , she could have pushed me aside but as I needed a mother, she needed a child to love, as her own children were taken from her by her husband, and twisted to become replicas like him, disrespectful ,selfish and hateful, to anyone who was not their father. I became the daughter she was denied..and lost.The only daughter she had carried , was stillborn,and after that, Corvus never touched her again, even going so far as to accuse her of cheating on him. I can see why she would turn to drink after that..thankfully Sivad found her before she was lost completely. Though she was married to another, she clearly loved the deathknight, and he returned her love ,completely.It was almost painful to see because I knew that if Corvus found out, he would murder them both,but she at least deserved a small bit of happiness after years of abject misery at my sire’s hands.

My hands are starting to lose the callous’ from the fiddle strings.. while in hiding, I’m not allowed to play my fiddle , lest the sound is traced back to where we are camped..it’s hard but considering the alternative .. I have to follow the rules even if I’m going stir crazy.

I suppose it was inevitable that our paths would cross..though I never expected it to happen so soon.. I had closed that door long ago and had moved on but fate, that fickle trollop that she is, decided that wasn’t enough. I knew who my biological parents were, and I had long accepted the fact that I was nothing more than the product that ill met union. To the world I was the beloved child of Hrima and Evarion Danelorn but deep inside I will know that I was the bastard child of Silena D’Court, and Magister Corvus Winterbourne; at least my biological mother cared for me enough to make sure that I had a better life than she could provide me…HE wanted me dead. I was an embarrassment to him, a living reminder of his infidelity and a stain on his so called honor.

I had arrived in Silvermoon to visit my mother, enjoying a playful romp with my pet Lament,when I accidently bumped into someone .The amount of profanity falling from the man’s lips, was surprising to say the least.I didn’t think I hit him that hard, and it was an accident. When I looked at him , there was no mistaking that we were related..the same chiselled cheekbones, pointed chin marked us as blood. I think my heart almost stopped when I finally saw the face of the man who sired me..and tried to have me killed when I was born,since he couldn’t convince my mother to abort me.

The look on his face was chilling when he came to the same conclusion that I had somehow survived ,and there was no doubt in my mind that he wasn’t happy about it.I could see it in the set of his jaw,and the twitching in his ears. The iciness in his manner was a chilling echo of the cold fury in his eyes. With a look of icy contempt ,he raked his eyes over me,seeking for something to berate me about ,but I faced him down with a look of boredom on my face though my stomach was clenching violently in spasms. When he spoke, I could almost imagine icicles dripping from his words ,and for some strange reason,it pissed me off… HE pissed me off!

” It seems if one wants a job done right, they should do it themselves. I should have taken care of the problem instead of having my men do it.” His voice was low, almost hissing in his revulsion. I looked him in the eye, and of course the mouth engages without waiting for the brain tell it what to say.” Such a shame .. good help is so hard to find these days.Frankly.. I can’t see what she saw in you..you have all the warmth of a icecube,and the manners of a quillboar.. How can you be sure that I’m even yours? Given her profession, it could have been anyone.” I got a brief moment of satisfaction at watching his face harden before he backhanded me ,grabbing my neck in a viselike grip and hissing furiously in a low tone so that only my ears could hear.

” Don’t get any airs, you little tramp.. I could snap your neck like a twig,and no one will stop me..you may have my blood in your veins, but you will never be accepted . you are nothing..you hear that.. nothing but the daughter of a streetwalker.” Pulling me ,his voice changed, it became a little more sinister .as his breath fell on my face ” Perhaps you should start looking into following her trade. .despite your rather common appearance…. I’m sure there are men who would be willing to be pay for your rather..overblown charms.”

To say I was shocked and horrified at the insinuation, I brought my knee up hard against his groin,and watched his eyes widen in shock and surprise, the pain must have been agonizing, he released my throat with a whimper,and dropped to his knees, groaning in pain. Glaring down at him, I snarled ” You insufferable arrogant ,jackass!! You would actually dare to proposition me?!!! Don’t ever delude yourself into thinking you were my father, you may have sired me, but you are nothing to me.. I had a father, and his name was Hrima Danelorn. The next time I run into you , I hope I’m riding a kodo ” I spun on my heel ,and left him writhing there in the avenue, as I went to search for ice , to reduce the swelling in my face. My whole head throbbed in pain, and I knew I was going to have a ugly bruise on my face. Lament yipped and chirped at me in concern, her brown eyes looking up at me . I patted her soft silver head crooning at her reassuringly.. but deep down I was scared.. terrified to be more exact. I was a hunter, and I like to think I was pretty good at what I do but judging from his robes, he was a magister ,and a pretty powerful one .. he could have easily fried me with a fireball. The visit with mother would have to wait until this bruise disappeared, I don’t want her to start worrying.

I watched by the gates as another contingent of soldiers rode past, in their shining red and gold armour, making ready to take the portal to Orgrimmar where they would make ready to set sail for Pandera. Where throngs of people once swarmed the Courtyard of the Sun, the square was becoming less and less populated as more of our best were sent over to do battle with the Alliance over what? The grasping ambitions of an orc gone mad with bloodlust and drunk on power.

Many of the soldiers left without loved ones bidding them farewell ..we knew that they were doomed as the rest, and their families had resigned themselves to the fact that their loved ones were not coming home.It was a sobering thought ,and one experience I had lived through once already. I was barely an adult when my father was taken from me, cut down by the Scourge.; no one wanted to tell us that he had been risen and was cut down by the very Rangers that he had served with . I only learned by chance ,and if nothing else, that was the day I went from a carefree happy girl to a grim survivor. My books,paints and pretty clothes set aside for a hunter’s bow and leathers; all thoughts of finding a young man ,and settling down to raise a family , made way for more important matters, seeing that my mother and I were cared for, food on the table ,and a roof over our head.

We lived well if modestly and the little house was ours, so there was no fear of being evicted by some unscrupulous landlord. However after my father died, my mother was lost without him.Often lost in her memories that she would forget to eat, or sleep. Seeing her like that, made it hard for me to stay..so with what money we had left I hired a bodyguard,and caretaker for her, while I worked gathering hides,and taking up leatherworking to provide for us both. I made the time to visit her often,but each time would leave me disheartened,and discouraged. I was losing her, my remaining parent..most times she didn’t recognize me,and that is what hurt the most.She had lost so much weight because she simply refused to eat. Her physician told me that he didn’t expect her to live past Winterveil, she was so far gone,and nothing short of a miracle could bring her back.

I expected it ,, knew it deep in my heart that I was going to lose her but still hearing it made it painful to accept. She was willing herself to die, so she could be with my father again, leaving me an orphan again.I pray that when my time comes, it’s quick and painless , not a lingering nightmare that drags on my loved ones.The agony of sitting there ,and watching her wither little by little each day was unbearable.. I put off times to hunt, taking Lament out into the back yard to run and play, easing both our misery. My mother had little time left ,and I mean to spend the precious time I had left with her by her side.

My mother died today, we had no idea that it would happen so soon.. the physician thought she would have lasted longer but it was not to be.. She simply lost the will to live,and I lost my mother but least she’s at peace and with my father. Now I must go on alone without their guidance, learn to find my own way without them .. I don’t know if I can do it.

I sat in the garden numb, unable to feel anything.. there will always be a void.. This will be the second set of parents I lost to death…the first dying in Lordaeron.. they were the ones who raised me from infancy to childhood.. the only thing I have left of them are two of the little wooden animals my first father carved for me out of wood..Like the tiny bow that my second father had made for me, they rest in a special case in my room.; mememtos of happier times. At least I was able to spend time with my mother before she passed on, already having said my goodbyes. I didn’t have to be brave anymore. to be strong for anyone.. everyone I cared for and loved,has been taken by death,and again I am left alone.

Now I must make preparations for my mother’s funeral ..it was her last wish to be buried next to my father..it was the least I could do ,but still I’m not ready to let go but know I must..but I can’t….not now.

I thought the meeting in Silvermoon would be the last I would see of my sire ; however it seems he’s not quite done with me .By hurting ,and humiliating him in public,he’s now determined to make me suffer, to make me pay for all the slights he believes I caused him. The major one, is daring to remain alive ;something he was determined to change. I had to leave.. after two attempts on my life, I couldn’t remain in Silvermoon anymore. I had already had my mother buried next to my father : her caretakers ,I had hired on , and had them care for the house while I was gone.It was my last link to my parents, and I meant to keep it but I had to keep moving.

I was completely alone, with only my pet , my bow,and my skills to keep me alive, I slept with one eye open,and a dagger under my pillow . I can’t afford to let my guard down, my life is literally on the line, I had made my way across the Eastern Kingdoms,dodging assassins, and keeping a low profile. I could use a disguise but it couldn’t hide the distinctive high cheekbones ,and narrow chin that marked me as his blood..

I was just about to board the zeppelin when I heard a whistling sound,and moved my head to look to where the sound was coming from ,when a metal throwing star hit the post to where my head was just moments earlier. I dove onto the zeppelin with Lament following close at my heels, just as the zeppelin was pulling away. LIfting myself up from the dusty deck ,to see two shadowy figures rushing to the landing pad on moments after the airship pulled away. I caught a glimpse of one ,and the fel green eyes followed me until I couldn’t see them any longer. Outwardly , I assumed an air of nonchalance ,but my stomach was flipping about ,and I felt like vomitting, I knew they would be following once another zeppelin came about ,and I needed to make myself scarce.

When the airship reached the dusty plains of Durotar, i was more than ready to leave.. my mind had already worked itself into a frenzy, I quickly disembarked the zeppelin , fairly racing down the stairs , eager to lose myself in Orgrimmar amongst the people. I needed a place to lie low .I wasn’t going to give them the opportunity to hunt me like an animal,which is exactly how i was feeling at the moment. It wasn’t a feeling I particularly enjoyed.

After the last few encounters with men lately, I’ve come to understand why women tend to gravitate to each other romantically… Because most men don’t have a friggen clue! When a woman tells you no after a particularly bad pickup line, take the hint and take a hike! I mean really ,,, what part of no , don’t you understand?!!

The ones that really irritate me, are the pretty boys who think that no woman can resist how pretty they are…seriously boys, you need to try harder.You maybe cute but you’re not that cute, and a woman is looking for a man ,who actually uses the brain in his head not his pants.So pouting ,and acting all sensitive is only going to make us run the other way. Crying over a broken nail, or a split end, is really not going to win a woman over, unless she’s just as shallow.

I suppose I’m asking too much when I say I’m looking for a man who actually has a brain in his head, the strength ,and courage to protect me, a libido to make my head spin, and compassionate enough to be concerned about how I’m feeling more than running with his friends at the drop of a hat.Wouldn’t hurt if he’s extremely easy on the eyes.. hey ?! a girl can hope, can’t she?!

The hunt has changed..instead being the hunted. I became the hunter I was always meant to be. My prey; the assassins that my sire had sent after me. They will go down in a hail of arrows ,and choke on their own blood as my arrows seek their throats; I tire of being the prey, and now I will become the predator.My companion will not be the loyal Lament, but a predator as cunning,and deadly as those who hunt me..a raptor whom I had befriended during my sojourn in the Barrens ,in the weeks past. She would be the instrument of my vengeance , to bring the fear into the hearts of those who haunt my footsteps ; to remind them,that they too are mortal.

From what I knew of them, it was a Sin’dorei ,and a Forsaken that were hired to eliminate me,and to wipe the so called stain off my sire’s honor,and rid him of the evidence that he had been unfaithful.Once they were gone….he will be next but with him…I must be cautious..play my cards right , lure him out from the safety of Silvermoon’s walls before I strike.

At first when I discovered that I was being targetted, the fear kicked the adrenaline on, forcing me to run, driven to where they wanted me to go. They wanted me to panic ,and I did until the adrenaline rush wore off , and I was able to think clearly again. When my head was clear, I was able to think about my current situation. The more I thought about it, the madder I got but instead of rushing out to fill their hides with arrows, I planned . They wanted to toy with me ,make me fearful ,that I would react rather than think.. now it’s time to give them a dose of their own medicine…they want to play ,then we shall play.. but I will be one calling the shots this time.. the hunted has become the hunter,and their blood is calling to me to shed it,as they would have done to me.

I don’t know why I did it but after days of cat and mouse ,I finally got the drop on my trackers,and dealt with them swiftly,and efficiently,before sending the emblems ,and another souvenir; the head of one of the assassins to my sire . It was a warning that needed no words..call off your dogs ,or you’re next .

I still feel sick after doing it, this was not something I would have done on regular basis.. I think I spent a good twenty minutes vomitting after I sent the grisly parcel. I knew that the message needed to be clear, . there had to be no doubt .. I just wished there was another way. Spite, sensing my discomfort, gave a reassuring bark, and nudged my shoulder with her snout. Giving her snout a gentle pat,I started feeling better about it . They gave me a good fight, so I didn’t feel too bad about killing them.

Slinging my bow over my shoulder , I entered Orgrimmar, and was assailed by the sound ,and smell of the city.The press,and smell of unwashed bodies assaulted my nose, and lingered there like a bad mememto. There was a tension in the air, an impending sense of doom, and the closer I got to the Warchief’s hall, the stronger it got. Spite , cocked her head, and tossing it in the air, barked a couple of times, letting me know of her displeasure. My mount Rama, a rather lively venomhide raptor, gently headbutted Spite, offering a consoling growl ,before preening himself. He was a magnificent specimen of a raptor,and the rascal knew it; I don’t know how many times I had to had to put a stop to his pursuit of Spite. Though they were both raptors, they were completely different. Rama came from the sweltering environment of Un’goro crater, where it was hot and humid..while Spite prowled the plains of the Northern Barrens, used to the dry grasslands of the savannah. However try explaining that to two raptors ,who only had one thing on their minds,and that wasn’t afternoon tea. To be honest, I can’t really blame them for wanting to be together ; they are being true to their nature. . to hunt, to mate, to raise young.. it was all so basic.with no complications.

I look on my life ,and all I saw was emptiness, loneliness and endless heartache.. one would think that all the heartache was from a man but no.. it was a culmination of all the losses I’ve faced over my lifetime. I haven’t been fortunate enough to find someone whom I would want to spend my life with ; but I suppose I will know him when I see him. I leaned forward to give Rama a pat on the neck,and whispered ” I wish my life wasn’t as complicated as yours.. you know what you want,don’t you?” I got a resounding chuff from Rama, who tossed his head up before calling to Spite in a cajoling fashion, beguiling her in the only way he could. Spite , gave a little huff of her own,and turned her back to him, her tail lashing from side to side ,and I barely had time to get off of Rama’s back ,and get the saddle off , before he fairly lunged at Spite, fully intending to stake his claim on her. I barely managed to get them out of the city, before chaos ensued,

Heaving a sigh, I carried my saddle over my shoulder ,and headed to the closest inn, before renting a room for the night. Plopping the saddle on the bed, I sighed ,and dropped my packs on the floor nearby. With Spite,and Rama off doing whatever it was they were doing, I was pretty much left to my own devices.

Night was falling,and grabbing my fiddle, I went outside,and clambering up a couple of walls, I made it to the roof,and hopped from roof to roof, before I found a place where I could settle down and play. It had been awhile since I played last, and stroking the strings lovingly ,I put it to my chin,and began playing a slow sweet piece, meant to calm and soothe. There was so much anger, hatred, sadness.. if I could take a bit away with my playing , then I would consider my job done.

After setting the fiddle down beside me, I sat on the rooftop and listened to the sounds brought on by nightfall, letting the cool breeze brush my face. I loved the night.. the bright shining moon, the multitude of stars sparkling in the sky , the coolness of the air settling in after the day’s heat. It was a quiet time, a restful time… well for some that is.In the distance I could hear the shrieks of raptors , the roar of lions .. at night, the wildlife seemed to come alive both four legged and two. The four legged predators I can handle. the two legged? Lets just say, I am more than capable of taking care of myself against such beasts.

Out of all the holidays , I dread Winterveil the most. At one time ,I looked forward to it but now the moment the Pilgrim’s Bounty is over, the anxiety, the pressure ,and the sinking feeling in my stomach whenever I see the decorations on the buildings ,and the Winterveil trees everywhere. I just want to crawl into a cave ,until it’s all over,and forget that it even existed.

I suppose it all started when my mother started slipping from me, the last couple of years. Winterveil was the hardest, as she was not always with me in mind .It was always hard ,for me to have to keep reminding her of who I was;she had no idea who I was. Though I came home each year for Winterveil ; it became harder and harder for me, just watching her drift away.Now that she finally joined my father; it only hit me that there was no longer a reason for me to go back anymore.. there was nothing left .Sure I could return to the house but it was no longer a home for me; it was empty… barren.Now everywhere I look , i see bright lights, happy faces, hear the excitement in people’s voices..

I…I don’t think I can do this

Things are bad,,and are about to get a helluva lot worse.. I can’t keep going on pretending this war wasn’t happening.. it is, shoving it’s ugly face to all around. I feel for the soldiers fighting overseas; dragged into a war, that they know they will not come out whole, or at all.When I was last in Silvermoon, I had already noticed the decrease in the population. If the rumours were true, Garrosh is doing his best, to wipe out the Sin’dorei by throwing the lives of my people away to satisfy his lust for bloodshed; caring little about it is doing to my race. He has lost all sense of reason… that is if he has had any to begin with,and like a rabid dog must be put down before he destroys us all..

It was bad enough that he had killed Cairne.. the late Tauren chieftain,saw the danger before everyone else; seeing how the lust for power would corrupt the current warchief… how little did we realize that it would drive him to madness. Then recently rumours began to surface ,about Garrosh had tried having Vol’jin assassinated,and declared the Echo Isles under martial law…it was clear that Garrosh no longer considered the trolls allies,but cannon fodder to feed his war machine. In essence the Horde has become expendable;our lives were forfeit if we protested ,but the unrest could not be ignored… people were scared,and angry… I only knew that it would only be a matter of time before the citizens rose up against their warchief; I knew alot of lives would be lost that day…it was just a matter of time. I just prayed that when that day came ,that justice prevailed not the annihilation of the Horde,nor the genocide of my people,who were already teetering on the razor’s blade as it was.

For the first time in a very long while…I prayed.

Dear Journal..or whatever people call you these days…..

Well …it is now a new year..whether it will be a good or not ,is too early to tell. I haven’t really had a chance to sit down and write anything since my last post; kinda of hard to when one is running for their lives..whether it be from the Alliance , our own allies, or my sire’s hired thugs. I should have known that killing the last two assassins he sent my way,wouldn’t be the end of it.. if anything , it only made him madder,and more determined to have my head on a platter.

I had been getting enough flak from the Orcs in Orgrimmar, between physical threats, insults, and ever so often, lewd propositions. Yeah, you heard me.. one orc called me a whore, and I should be out plying my trade like the rest of my race..so I told him ,that is no amount of alchohol that would ever convince me to have sex with a gorilla like him.. as it was ,his face alone would put me off my food. Got a black eye for that one but it was sooo worth it.

I took the zeppelin to Northrend.. I was curious about the place,and I wanted to see Dalaran at least once. Worst mistake ever!! Don’t get me wrong, its a beautiful place…however the cold was a total shock to the system..especially since I wasn’t dressed for it. I swear Lament and I spent more time by the fireplace at the Filthy Animal than out exploring. I think by the time I got back to Orgrimmar, my arms returned to their normal colour ,rather than the unbecoming shade of blue,and the rest of my body eventually thawed out .Note to self, never go to Northrend, wearing a thin shirt and not much else on your chest…guaranteed you will be mistaken for a traffic controller ,with the colour changes and the headlights going off.I think I spent the whole trip with my arms crossed over my chest,and praying no one noticed how red my face was or how blue my lips were turning.

It was with great relief ,that I returned to the South;I don’t think I was ever so happy to see Orgrimmar in my life.I fairly bolted off the zeppelin,racing down the stairs to solid ground. Of course,I returned from Northrend with a souvenir; with the worst flu,I had ever experienced..now I sit here, alternating between fever,and chills. the chill from the northern air, not having left my bones yet.Thankfully Lament found a healer for me before I fell flat on my face; a Pandaren lady named Zenyun Andoshi. After taking me home with her,she bundled me up in blankets,and gave me ginger tea to break my fever.Lament, stayed by my side ,watching her movements with vigilence, giving my hand a comforting lick to assure herself that I would be ok. I’m told that I need to rest because I could easily develop pneumonia if I don’t ; something I can’t afford to take chances with especially since the recovery time is quite long.I have a feeling I’m going to be here awhile,so I guess I had better get some rest so I’m not an imposition on Zenyun too long.

t had been a week since I first collapsed in Orgrimmar after returning from my trip to Northrend,and brought to the tender care of the Pandaren healer ,Zenyun. I had been delirious with fever,and chills;hit by the worst flu imaginable; it took several days before she was able to break the fever. When I finally opened my eyes, it was to the face of Zenyun,and my beloved Lament. who licked my face,and hand frantically, before whining to be let out.

I had been laid up in bed, for over a week ,now I feel weak as kitten. If anyone else came after me, there is no way I would be able to defend myself against them in my current state. I was essentially….helpless. There never would be a better time for my sire’s goons to strike .especially with me being so weak,and unable to defend myself.

I was in Thunderbluff with Zen, as she spoke to some of the Tauren healers there about local medicinal herbs,that could be used to treat my illness. Originally she would have used herbs native to her homeland to treat my illness but just my luck, I developed an allergy to Fools cap; which was a component to some of the healing elixirs she used. When there was an outcry from the locals as people started flying in, their faces white, and shocked as they related the news of the riot in Orgrimmar.

There was a shocked silence as the news made it’s way through the crowd. .a large riot took place in Orgrimmar’s main square.,and Garrosh’s personal guards,had took it upon themselves to kill those who resisted,and to try the quell the rioters. Many died in the process,and more were injured ,being tended by the healers who had their hands full treating the injured. Feeling sick to my stomach at the news, I barely made it away from the crowd, before I started vomitting,losing the scant nourishment I had taken in earlier. Falling to my knees , I couldn’t stop,and the dry heaves took over ,wracking my body, I probably would have passed out, if Lament hadn’t found Zen ,and alerted her to my distress.

The trip back to Orgrimmar was silent,as we both tried to absorb it all but nothing could have prepared us for the devastation that met us,when we made our way to Zen’s house. The damaged buildings , the bodies everywhere, ..it was a nightmare..and I wished I could wake up from it. I stumbled on my feet, falling against the wall of a building,and began losing the contents of my stomach once again,but only a sour tasting bile emerged,my stomach already empty from vomitting earlier. I don’t know how I got to Zen’s house,everything was a blur.. the smell of blood and smoke hung in the air like a foul miasma,clinging to my nostrils.Zen became extremely agitated when I started coughing up blood,,and ordered me back to bed, before she examined me again. Though I had avoided getting pneumonia, the smoke did nothing to help my condition, in fact aggravated matters more. It hurt so much to even breathe, the burning in my lungs made me feel like I was drowning,for the lack of oxygen.It hurt to cough,and my throat felt raw and angry.,leaving me without a voice for several days after. No pneumonia, but a chest infection was bad enough.I thought the flu was bad enough but this was worse.

I don’t know how much more of a wake up call that the Warchief needs to come to his senses….but apparently as devastating as this was….I don’t know it if it will be enough ….Light help us all…when will this nightmare end?!

A Elbereth Gilthoniel

Fanuilos Heryn Aglar

Snow white snow white! O lady clear

Rin athar Anunn Aearath

O queen beyond the western seas

Calad ammen I Reniar

O light to us who wander there

Mi’ AladHremmin Ennorath!

Amid the world of woven trees

A Elbereth Gilthoniel

Gilthoniel O Elbereth

I chin’a thul LiN Miriel

Clear are thy eyes and bright is breath

Fanuilos Le Linnathon

Snow white ! Snow white ! We sing to thee

Ne Ndor Haer Thar I Aearon

In a far land beyond the sea

A Elin Na Caim Eglerib

O Stars that in the sunless year

Ned In Ben Anor Trerennin

With shining hand by thee were sown

Si Silivrin Ne Pherth Waewib

In windy fields now bright and clear

Cenim Lyth Thi’Lyn Thuiennin

We see your silver blossom blown

A Elbereth Gilthoniel

O Elbereth Gilthoniel

Men Echenim Si Derthiel

We still remember ,we who dwell

Ne Chaered Hen Nu’ Aladhath

In this far land beneath the Trees

NGilith Orannin-Aearath

Thy starlight on the Western seas

Words by J,R.R Tolkien, Music by Howard Shore

As a race ..we are passing from this world,though none will admit to themselves that one day the Sin’dorei will only be a footnote in the history of Azeroth. Like our forefathers. we face two choices, Exodus..or extinction.. neither choice is acceptable but in order for our people to survive.. we need to make a choice.. far too many lives have been spent in a war that no one but the warchief wanted.. like a drunkard he heedlessly spills the blood of ally and enemy both ,uncaring of the cost. ..he sickens me.

Unlike our forefathers, who sailed across the seas to a new land, to found Quel’thalas, we have no where else to go. Dalaran is closed to us, we cannot rejoin the Alliance.as they now condemn an entire race for the actions of few. The Horde is not much better.. in fact worse off than when we joined.Some would call me fatalistic ,but I have seen the writing on the wall as the bodies of dead soldiers are sent home in droves everyday..how can a race sustain itself when those needed ,to rebuild are off fighting for someone else’s greed. It makes no sense..however we are all caught up in it whether we chose to ,or not.

I wandered down the pathway, through the misty moor
Like I knew he did a thousand times before
Voices seem to echo “Come talk with me a while
Just around the corner, just another mile…”

I had heard the stories, her legend served her well
A mystic’s myth or fable, truth or fairy tale
A raggle taggle gypsy , with a toothless smile
Said “Sit with me my darling, let’s talk a little while…”

And the road goes on, seeming ever longer on the Way to Mandalay
And the road goes on, forever will I wander on the Way to Mandalay…

The mile went on forever, the minutes turned to days
Could I have been misguided by the mystic’s ways?
The moment lasts forever, at least it does for me
Caught between what happened and what could never be…

And the road goes on, seeming ever longer on the Way to Mandalay
And the road goes on, forever will I wander on the Way to Mandalay…

The day started off innocently enough ,as I made my way through Orgrimmar, I was still weak but I had regained enough strength to make short forays out of the house with Lament bouncing around my heels in excitement. She would often lie at the foot of the bed,watching me with soft brown eyes,as I rested.I don’t know what was in that remedy that Zen gave me but I found myself recovering alot sooner than expected.. I suppose I can now give credence to the mysticism of Pandaren medicine.However I still need to take it slow ,so I don’t suffer a relapse. I missed being outside ,and even if though I wouldn’t be going too far, being in the fresh air did much for my spirits.

I was sitting the tavern in the Valley of Honor, just soaking in the atmosphere,and people watching when the most unlikely couple entered the bar. A death knight by the looks of him,dressed in full plate armour.. poor bugger must have been sweltering in that armour but then I remembered he probably didn’t feel it being undead as it were. His companion however was a complete surprise , a female orc warrior, bigger than most I’ve seen, with the most amazing red hair I had ever seen. She towered over the deathknight by a foot,and hefted two weapons on her back, wielding as easily as a giant would wield a tree..I suddenly felt very small in comparison.

For some odd reason ,the deathknight kept looking in my direction,and whispering to his companion before he came to my table and asked my name ,saying I looked familiar . I told him that was the worst pick up line I had ever heard,and was promptly told, not to flatter myself, he was already taken. The female orc laughed at him, and promptly sat herself down in front me, flashing me a toothy grin,exclaiming she liked me. I was baffled, and getting somewhat concerned..given the past few weeks, I was downright edgy. The moment he mentioned my sire’s name I practically lunged over the table to the door but a bout of coughing stopped me in my tracks, leaving me shaken.. and at the complete mercy of these two strangers.However to my complete shock, they weren’t here to kill me .but to protect me from my sire under the orders of their employer ,a woman called the Matriarch. To say I was skeptical was an understatement..I listened in disbelief when the Deathknight explained that they had been sent to find the one that Corvus had sent assassins after,and take them into safety. A tall tale I thought to myself but I couldn’t argue.. I had been dodging assassination attempts since I left Silvermoon after the confrontation with my sire.

I soon learned their names after a few minutes of discussion before I was told , that we needed to go to Thunderbluff before they could explain in detail what was going on.. and given the recent events.. I had to agree but I don’t think Zen would appreciate me travelling in my condition. I explained this to the deathknight and the orc ,whom were known as Sivad NIghtheart,and Dooskka .Sivad was apparently the Master of Arms for House Goldmoon, as he explained his role in his Mistresses employ.and Dooskka ,was one of the Honor guards ,that looked after the family members of the House. That little fact was a complete surprise to me , not to mention the warmth in their voices as they spoke of the one called the Matriarch. Apparently she was House Goldmoon, the heart and the will of a bloodline that should have died with the rest of Silvermoon nobility but survived due to their avoidance of politics.Apparently the Matriarch despised politics as well as those who practiced it.. to her , the remaining nobility should be destroying those who would destroy Silvermoon not each other..She kept her house apart from the petty squabbles , letting the rest of the nobles fight over positions of power like dogs fighting over a bone.

Sivad told me, he had some training in First aide,and healing, when he was a paladin, though he apologised for his lack of healing ability being what he was. The very arguement I had ready had fizzled under his logic,and I weakly nodded. I guess I was going with them.. it was better than waiting for assassins to come and find me.. as weak as I was , I knew I couldn’t fight off an attack. My chances of survival lay in the hands of these two ,and I prayed that I would not regret my decision.

It was one of those weird days, were you wake up,and just know things are going to take on a strange cast.It was that kind of day when I woke up that morning totally confused as to where I was. My brain still lost in the fog of sleep was slow in registering the fact that I was in Thunderbluff,and after a couple of seconds everything came back to me. I had a new name to go under..suggested by Dooskka because she thought it was pretty ,but Sivad wasn’t satisfied. I needed a new look, and went off to purchase some new gear for me to travel in,so that my sire and his spies wouldn’t recognize me. When he returned, I was surprised to see him carrying a set of robes of dark blue,and a mask .I had never worn robes much as I got older, so it was a shock,and I had a hard time getting used to the confining way it hampered my movements. There was no way I was going to be able to wield a bow in this. I couldn’t even lift my arms up without having to worry if the robes were going to hold together. I wasn’t an overly tall girl nor fat,but the sad truth is ,much of the clothes made for women don’t always fit in the chest or hips on me. Depends on how one looks it I was either blessed or cursed with an hourglass figure, which made fitting in somewhat a challenge.

As much as I hated to , I had to admit that Sivad was right, I needed to change my hair ,to call less attention to myself.The cheekbones ,I couldn’t help,but the mask did help cover them partially so they weren’t as noticable. The hair ,however was a dead giveaway; I wasn’t a vain person but my hair was my only vanity. Silver white with silver tips, it was unique,and very distinct..and easily recognizable unfortunately. The moment I told the barber that I wanted it dyed black, there was such a look of abject horror on her face.. I think she was ready to start bawling.. though I had to admit ,she wouldn’t have been the only one. The moment I sat down,and told her yes , that I wanted it done, and to please do it fast, before I changed my mind. That’s when I saw the tears sliding down her face.. I felt bad but it was better than being dead.Eventually the dye will wear off,and hopefully by then , this situation with my sire will have been resolved.

After she was done, I looked at myself in the mirror in disbelief.. I didn’t even recognize myself at all.. a total stranger peered back at me.I was like every other Sin’dorei out there..nothing unique or special about me anymore.The color went well with my tanned skin,and it looked so natural that I almost forget that it was a dye. I made my way back to the inn where Sivad and Dooskka waited for me. It took him a couple of minutes before he clued in that was me; which was a good sign that the change was working.Now the true question was , will it pass the crucial test.?! I guess we will wait and see.

I met my sire’s wife… and everything I heard about her never prepared me for reality. I had thought her a partner to his crimes but found out to my discomfort that she was just as much a victim as I was. It was easy to hate someone ,when you didn’t know the truth,and hard to swallow your pride when you realize how wrong you are .

Though she did not look like a mother of four grown sons, the suffering,and heartache were there in her eyes, and I couldn’t bring myself to hate her.Corvus had much to answer for , if he treated his current wife as badly as the woman who bore me …gah.. I can’t even bring myself to call her my mother..I never knew her. I was put up for adoption when I was barely a month old, in order to save my life; Silena couldn’t protect me, couldn’t support me without letting on who she was, and risking discovery.

When I looked at Reaylm, I couldn’t understand how she could have married him, especially after what he had done to his first wife.and child. I suppose love makes you do stupid things ,and she is certainly paying for that love she had spent on Corvus.,but in some ways , one door opens as another closes. With her marriage long since dead,and for years living like strangers in separate homes, she had given up on finding happiness herself. In a sense she was my mother … she was mother to my half brothers .. brothers I will never meet nor know thanks to Corvus, who made them into carbon copies of himself.

I was surprised at first when Sivad, told Dooskka ,and I about her;the warmth in his voice,and the slight smile on his face when he spoke of her.That he loved her , was very clear, but I wondered what price were they going to pay if Corvus learned of their love. When she arrived with Sivad, I could see that she felt the same about him as he did her. I felt awkward , like I was intruding ..and though I was not supposed to leave the cabin without Dooskka , watching over me , I felt like an outsider,and went outside to give the two some privacy.

I felt restless. edgy.. I couldn’t play my fiddle lest the sound alerted his spies ,and I couldn’t hunt. So I ended up playing cards with Dooskka ..or at least trying to teach her the basic card games.. sadly .. though she was stalwart and brave. she was not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed.However she had a good heart,and I felt safe around her. Everytime she called me Mog’ra.. I had to keep looking around to see who she was talking to,forgetting that was supposed to be my name .

Mog’ra T’len ,was the name she had chosen for me. and everyone seemed to remember it but me..which is bad, since I need to remember that I was not Danu Danelora, a huntress .. but Mog’ra T’len .. a Sin’dorei pilgrim seeking the truth of her past.. which is not exactly that far off from the truth.I just need to remember ,not to lose myself in the part,and forget who I am ..as it is , I’m struggling to remember what my adopted parents looked like again..they were the ones who loved and raised me, not strangers who share my blood,and will not hesitate to slit my throat to serve their own ends. I just want this to end… I just want someplace to belong… I gave up on the idea of settling down, if marriage brings nothing but pain.and suffering..I don’t want it. Have I become so dead inside that the things that would have brought me joy, are naught but ashes?! ..I”m not living …just existing.. in some ways .. Sivad,despite being a death knight…. is more alive than I am now…and that’s saying alot.

I’m starting to doubt the wisdom of this but its far too late to turn back.. even though I did not start this .. I need to finish it. Too many lives hang in the balance both figuratively and literally ,my own being one of them if I should fail.All these years I have wondered who my birthparents were, when I found out , I was ready to close the door… I had closed the door but it seemed fate was not willing to let it rest. It had no care about ripping open old wounds. and exposing the festering feelings that bubbled underneath the surface. I had no illusions that my birthfather would sweep me up ,and take to meet his other family,proudly displaying me as his child.. that was only a fairytale.and I had long since given up on fairytales.I just had no idea ,that he hated me so much that he would send others to kill me ,and my mother , who I learned was his legal wife at the time. I was not some bastard ,he wanted to rid himself of,but his first born. My only crime.. I was not the male heir he had been hoping for.. unfortunately I would have been his only child, as the birth had been hard on my mother,and the midwife told him, my mother could never have other children.

I don’t know why but for some odd reason, I wished my sire would accept me as his ..but such wishes were not meant to be..strange as it seems, his wife Reaylm has accepted me..though not my mother, by blood, she treats me as if I were..she knew me when I was barely a month old,,and saved my life when my father’s assassins, came to end it . Though I loved both my foster parents,I always felt out of place, disconnected in some ways. She didn’t have to accept me , she could have pushed me aside but as I needed a mother, she needed a child to love, as her own children were taken from her by her husband, and twisted to become replicas like him, disrespectful ,selfish and hateful, to anyone who was not their father. I became the daughter she was denied..and lost.The only daughter she had carried , was stillborn,and after that, Corvus never touched her again, even going so far as to accuse her of cheating on him. I can see why she would turn to drink after that..thankfully Sivad found her before she was lost completely. Though she was married to another, she clearly loved the deathknight, and he returned her love ,completely.It was almost painful to see because I knew that if Corvus found out, he would murder them both,but she at least deserved a small bit of happiness after years of abject misery at my sire’s hands.

My hands are starting to lose the callous’ from the fiddle strings.. while in hiding, I’m not allowed to play my fiddle , lest the sound is traced back to where we are camped..it’s hard but considering the alternative .. I have to follow the rules even if I’m going stir crazy.

The moment Sivad spoke of the Matriarch those weeks past in Booty Bay, I had envisioned an older woman with a gimlet eye and a rapier tongue..I had not prepared myself for reality. He came to the cabin, where we took refuge, his face grim as he informed me that the Matriarch wanted to see me…tomorrow. My blood ran cold..and I gulped before I nodded but I knew I was not going to get any sleep that night.

When the day broke, I was exhausted , having spent the night tossing and turning ,my stomach clenching in fear. I wasn’t ready… I wasn’t prepared ..however my guardian would not let me back out..and so we went. Through the portal ,and down the ramp that lead from the Sunfury Spire and into the city proper. Dressed in my usual dark robes, and the mask covering the lower half of my face, and Sivad in his armour, we rode in silence, ignoring the curious looks from the citizens, who stared at us as we rode past. Reaching the Shepherds gate ,we continued on our leisurely pace, trying not to attract undue attention,and headed south to the Sunstrider Isle… Upon reaching the gates past the ruins , Sivad, lead us down a long winding road on the other side , to a sprawling estate that was unlike anything I had ever seen. Upon reaching the courtyard, after being admitted by the house guards, I was astounded by the beauty of the place..the courtyard was a large circle, surrounded by well manicured hedges. and the doorway to the estate was opened by a distinguished butler who welcomed us in. leading us into the parlour.

Looking around the room that was easily bigger then all the rooms in my small house, I was drawn to the portraits hanging on the walls ,and drew closer to examine them. Seeing a family portrait that took center stage among the hangings , I noted a handsome family that posed naturally. A strong austere looking gentleman stood next to a golden haired woman, who for being a Quel’dorei , could not honestly be described as beautiful. She had piercing blue eyes ,a strong prominent nose,and high cheekbones ,in a strong chiseled face, she looked from the portrait with a gaze that was intense yet mesmirizing,and hard as I tried , I could not draw my eyes away,but draw them I did, to see the rest of the family members. Two boys sat on the floor, both had the same blue eyes as the woman, both open and friendly, the older one held a puppy in his arms,while the younger sat crosslegged on the floor. Flanking the older couple were two young men,tall strong ,with a look of quiet contemplation on their faces. One was dressed in white and gold armour,befitting a paladin,while the other was dressed in silver chain mail, holding his helm in his arm. Focused so intently on the portrait , I did not hear the Matriarch enter the room, until a quiet voice spoke beside me, voice was strong ,yet soothing at the same time.

“That was the only family portrait , that we were able to get everyone to sit still long enough for..” I looked beside me, and saw the Matriarch for the first time. What I saw shocked me.. she wasn’t much taller than I was , but she was ancient .Her frame was sparse,and frail, moving with the aide of a walking stick. However the fire in her eyes were not yet diminished,and the intense gaze unnerved me but with some effort I managed to keep her gaze before she murmured “Yes….you are she..I can see it in the face.. you have the Winterbourne cheekbones but the eyes are all your mother’s. Though I think you are made of sterner stuff than she did.” Though I knew what she referred to , I couldn’t help but ask anyway ” Who is she , you refer to ?” she gave me a quiet stare before answering ” My grand daughter, whom we believed dead all these years.. but the fates have kept you alive and safe .”

I was stunned , though I was told I was her granddaughter from Sivad, and Reaylm, it just didn’t seem real..but this woman.. was my blood.. only she could accept or reject me as her family.Her quiet words were validation enough. When I looked at the ancient Sin’dorei before me..I was amazed.. I had never truly saw an actual old elf before…there was old, like the senior priests, and the mages,but they looked young compared to this living embodiment of the past.. She did not just remember the history, she lived it , she was a part of it but time was slowly catching up to her ,in the way she walked, moved her hands, and spoke. Though still sharp minded, it was obvious the effects of old age were the only things that were holding her back from the things she wanted to do. Paying mind ,and respect to her advanced age, I sat down, at her behest, as she rang a bell for tea. Sivad had already taken his helm off ,and I could see the years lift off his tired face, in the presence of the Matriarch. I understood now the devotion, he and Dooskka had for the elder, and soon found myself liking this woman who was my grandmother.

It was a couple of hours later before we had to leave but in that time I learned much about my family,and the woman ,who lead this house. She was the heart of the House Goldmoon, and now that I have met her, look forward to spending more time with her before the fates take her from us . It was a somber ride back but it was the right thing .. we didn’t want to push our luck, and invite trouble.. we still had Corvus to worry about.

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