Looking back in my journal , I can’t believe its’ been so long since I wrote; but then I have been doing other things to occupy my time and mind. The little one is growing by leaps and bounds, within my belly;making the concept of my becoming a mother a reality.The fear of not being a good parent has raised it’s ugly head many times but then I reminded by the devotion of my loving man ,Fnar who has more than eased my fears.We are both looking forward to our little one’s arrival with a great deal of excitement,and anticipation.
We haven’t come up with names yet but considering its only a short time away before we bring our little one into the world, probably be a good time to start talking about it. Wouldn’t want to be caught unprepared,well namewise that is; I suppose sewing leather goods has come in handy in more ways than one. Under the guidance of the village elder,Nana Mudclaw, I was taught how to sew cloth ,which is considerably alot easier to work with than leather.Soon I was able to construct a reasonable wardrobe for the baby ,along with blankets..sure they were plain but honestly I have neither the patience nor desire to decorate the surface with frivolous decorations .
Fnar has been busy outside with the crops, tending to the fields like he was born to it; often I would stand there and watch him work for a few moments as I brought him his lunch and something cool to drink. After the initial period where I was considerable more delicate, I got right in there and helped him with the fields as much as I could but as my pregnancy progressed it just too exhausting ,and there were a couple of times I nearly passed out. So it was decided that I would work inside, keeping up our little farmhouse, and making certain that dinner was ready when he came in .If anyone told me that I would become quite domesticated, I would have shoved my fist down their throats but now ?! Lets just say, I’m quite happy to make this little farmhouse into a home.. I think after moving so much in my lifetime, I missed having stability ,and a home to come to .
Eilwen the midwife ,says I’m coming along quite nicely but she is a little concerned about the size,,even though she knows I’m quite active,she is surprised at how big the babe is getting at such a short time. She’s been very attentive ,and checks on me more often to make certain that everything is going well. Though I am definitely feeling the extra weight,and feel quite off balance alot; sometimes I compare myself to a beached whale at times but through out it all, I’m definitely grateful to be here,and having this experience, especially after my injuries a few monthes ago. I may grumble a bit about my lack of mobility but when it comes right down to it, I’m glad I can have children.. I know some women don’t have that ability,and I can see how much it hurts them to see babies,and not have the same experience of holding one in their arms. Last I remember ,my aunt Desiree had three children, before the Scourge swept through our homeland ,and killed many of our people and much of my family. My mother, two sets of grandparents, my baby brother,my aunt ,and uncle were taken from me that day.. they never found the twins ,nor learned of their fates.. that will always be a bitter wound to those that survived.However life does go on, new alliances made, new babes born into the world, and once what was shattered will mend and become whole again.
Fnar and I took the opportunity to join his best friend Fnor on a trip to the Darkmoon Faire; which we had missed going to , for sometime.. It was nice to get away from the farm and enjoy ourselves for a short time. I can sense that Fnor misses his wife,and wishes she was here to enjoy this with him as well; he probably felt like a third wheel with Fnar and I . I think Fnar was ready to have a fit when I suggested that we try the cannon,and made ready to scold me for thinking of putting myself in danger that way until he realized I was only teasing him. LIke I would ever put myself in that situation.. for one thing I would never fit,and another ,I would never risk the life of our baby for a moment of fun. So I watched them both ,participate in the games, laughing until I was weak in the knees and had to lean on the building for support. The barkers seeing my advanced state of pregnancy ,brought a little chair for me, and bade me to sit ,so that I could rest while Fnar,and Fnor tried the games. It was an unexpected kindness ,and I thanked them for the consideration, trying to set myself comfortably but the weight of the baby shifting made it challenging at best,and I did the best I could. An elder Tauren matron seeing my attempts, asked me when I was due.. so when I told her, she gave my stomach a thoughtful look and said, I looked like I was due to deliver any day.. the signs were all there. To say I was shocked was an understatement..there was no way I could be this far along, and said so . She merely shook her head and laughed softly ,telling me that she had bore several calves of her own, and had a few grandbabies in the process..so she knew the signs of when an expectant mother was due.
Mulling this information in my head while we sat down to eat, at the benches, Fnar laughed at the look of disgust on my face when I tried one of the Faire delicacies .the crunchy frogs.. it was utterly revolting.. I couldn’t choke it down ,and with a shudder of revulsion, I shoved it away ; looking in complete surprise as Fnor, suddenly leapt to his feet, like his pants were on fire,and chased after a strange woman. However seeing the look on Fnar’s face, indicated that this was no strange woman ,but someone they both knew; which I learned was Fnor’s younger sister. Seeing the look of shock on her face,and something else ,when she saw Fnar and I ,gave me indication that there had been something between them .I didn’t say anything but let them have their reunion..watching quietly ,feeling Fnar’s hand rubbing the small of my back , where it tended to ache alot. When she and I greeted each other, it was quite cordial. both of us taking each other’s measure ,and I doubt she could mistake the fierce protectiveness in my eyes for Fnar,and our unborn child; though I did not have to say it in words.They may have had a history together at one time before he and I met but he loves me now..I won’t have anyone hurting him, or they will have me to deal with .As much as I would like to know who she was to him, I think it would be best to let him come to me ,and tell me. I certainly don’t want him to get the impression that I will turn into a jealous virago ,eaten with doubt and insecurity.Many other women have tried to cast doubt about his fidelity to me but I brushed them off as jealous cats; they wanted what they could not have.
We left the faire ,and went to Thunderbluff, to speak more..though my legs felt wobbly while we were on the elevator,and I held onto Fnar for support, feeling somewhat unnerved by the elevator, which normally never bothered me before.I think having the conversation with the Tauren matriarch rattled me more than I realized. If what she says is true, then we are going to have to head back to Panderia soon ,if we want our baby to born there..from what she told me, once a baby decides to come, it will come . However something was bothering me.. if I am supposed to be so close to delivering ..that means I am alot further along than we realized ..which makes no sense, It would mean that I was already pregnant when I was injured.However the healer found no signs of it when she was treating me; I can only wonder what those medications could have done to the baby if that were the case. It would have taken an extreme miracle if I was indeed pregnant at the time of my encounter with the Mogu, to protect a newly formed child from the battering I took .Thinking about it further, I did some calculations in my head ,and came to a startling conclusion. I was indeed close to my actual due date, not the one we had originally thought. No wonder Eilwen was worried, she was concerned that i was putting on too much weight.. which was true in a way but not in the way that she was thinking. Our little one is going to be making it’s appearance quite sooner than we expected..