I think I could get used to sleeping with Fnar’s arms about me.. there is something so comforting about being held ; its not just a physical thing but emotional as well. Touch plays an important part of our lives, be it the comforting touch of a mother to her child, the playful tussling among children..the loving caresses between man and woman. Its a shame so many people don’ t realize how important that one basic need is ; which often goes neglected or ignored. I don’t Fnar even realizes it himself but he seems to appreciate it when I stroke his skin, or play with his hair. He reminds me of a large cat. all sleek and golden, deadly and precise when he hunts, yet playful and loving when we are alone. I know he has a hot temper which can match my own.. but he hasn’t really seen me lose my temper..oddly enough between the two of us, I find myself being the more calm one..my sister would laugh herself sick if she saw me now.
I missed Tywin ,and Sheenagh very much,and I didn’t want them to leave for Northrend just yet but as it was, they would be in graver danger if they remained..given that they are half human.and half Sindorei… the human blood would damn them to an execution as Alliance spies,even though they are completely innocent. Sheenagh does not want to return to Northrend just yet.. she had met someone in House Goldmoon, that has taken her fancy. Given that my sister is not a flighty sort, it concerns me that she would put herself in danger… however I can’t say much.. it seems to be a trait in the Nightheart women, to follow those we care for, right into the face of danger,defying the odds to protect those we care for. My mother died, protecting my brother and I ,but in the end, she was struck down.Even in death ,she strove to protect my brother but the spear that ended her life killed my baby brother as well. All I remember is picking up a discarded weapon that laid on the street , dropped by one of the guards,and stood beside my father fighting off the Scourge, who sought to take my mother’s remains and make her into one of them.. I couldn’t have been more than twelve at the time, still a mere child by our people’s standards but that event had stripped away my innocence; made me grow alot sooner than I should have been.
After that , there was a period of time, I don’t remember at all.. it was as if a wall had come up , blocking out whatever it was ..I often wondered what it was but something inside me, tells me I probably don’t remember for a reason. As terrible as it was , I can’t even imagine what my father went through..not remembering he even had a family all those years…then to suddenly remember and relive those losses all over again.The pain must be unbearable.. in a way I can understand his feelings.. to have had a family, a loving mate, children, to lose them in a painful manner, than find them once again..I think that would cripple anyone emotionally. As hard as it is on me to realize I had family left.. it is probably harder for him.. he lost so much , the years he could have spent with us , stolen from him.
When he met Fnar, I was holding my breath..I didn’t know how he would react. It’s not everyday ,that a father is introduced his daughter’s lover,and vice versa..yet.. after they came to an understanding, they got along well enough.Thank Thorim for that ! I don’t know if I could have stayed from Fnar if I tried. Somehow.. he seemed to have filled that void in my life that I thought would remain empty. Neither of us , are in any hurry to get married; as far as I see it.. marriage is more a little girl’s fantasy; a dream perpetuated by their parents.Those with more experience tend to look beyond that..they had time to learn who they are ,and what they want in life. They are not willing to put themselves in a position where they lose everything they are .Fnar,and I have had the time to learn who we are ,and what we want,; let others be miserable or content, bound up in rules and regulations dictated to them by society. He and I are taking steps in a new direction with our relationship.and in the process learning more about each other. Its definitely going to be interesting.