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Monthly Archives: May 2013

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Come Tenderness

Just one of my favourite artists, whose beautiful vocals ,can be found on many soundtracks. She’s sung the main theme for Gladiator, Man on Fire, just to name a couple of movies..and is probably more famous for her musical contributions for the group Dead Can Dance.

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Posted by on May 31, 2013 in Ramblings

 

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Recovery and Mixed news.

Talked to the healer today,and told her of my concerns about the medication that I had been taking for my injuries. Thankfully she understood, and gave me a different medication, that I could take when needed.. especially since the ribs seem to be much better, though still tender, in places ,they don’t pain me as much as when I broke them. I find now , I can breath alot easier now without the sharp pains; the dizziness seems to have abated considerably,though I do get the occasional fogginess here and there..however she says it’s to be expected. Though the worst of it seems to have passed, I need to take it easy still, just so I don’t suffer a relapse.

  She did give me the go head to engage in some light activity as long as I don’t overdo it.. while the ribs are healing nicely ,they are not fully mended.. they will still be fragile to a point until they full heal. When I asked her about sex, she gave me a stern look, informing me, that as long as I didn’t engage in anything too rough, sex was fine…in fact , it was probably the safest activity I could do , as long as I didn’t overdo it.. I think I blushed fifty shades of red ,which was a first for me . I can’t remember when I blushed that badly.. however I nodded,and promised I wouldn’t get carried away.

There seems to be a heavier tension in the air.. I could feel it.. an almost oppressiveness, that seems to bear down upon everyone.From the merchants hawking their wares, to the farmers discussing the days crops ..and the soldiers that stop by to gather much needed supplies .The long simmering resentment towards the Warchief and the current war, had finally come to a head in the Darkspear Rebellion. The trolls simply had enough.. with the assassination of their leader Vol’jin..and martial law set down upon their homes.. the trolls finally took matters into their own hands,and staged a revolt to put an end to Garrosh’s tyranny; to the only way they would be satisfied was nothing less than the end of Garrosh Hellscream himself.

 Hnowever it was not only the Trolls that were out of blood but everyone else in the Horde who had been oppressed and persecuted by Garrosh and his Kor’Kron soldiers.Except for his loyal followers,,pretty much almost the entirety of the Horde, that was not Orc,was screaming for his blood..as if things couldn’t get more bizarre the Alliance had joined up with rebels as well.. What had me concerned, was my father was in the thick of things,along with Fnar,and Commander Morningstar. If it  became known that any of them were involved.. Garrosh would think nothing of having them and their families executed for treason.It is not something I wish to see happen… if anyone is going to be losing their heads.,, it will be Garrosh himself.

 It feels strange, waking up next to someone, in a new place..though we are not married , it doesn’t seem to bother either of us. Fnar and I enjoy each other’s company; even though sex had been out of the question while I was recovering, we would lie in that big comfortable Pandaren bed, that we both agreed, was one of the best pieces of furniture around,and just cuddle. Sometimes we would just lie there,and talk  about many things that had nothing to do with sex, or relationships whatsoever. He has a keen mind, sharp,and clever with his quips, with a devilish wit that often had me gasping for air, after he rendered me helpless with laughter.He wasn’t just a handsome face, he had a mind as well..which I found just as attractive; however his talent for making me weak in the knees ,and yearning for him, was just as intoxicating as the rest of him.I look forward to the time when we can have our playful romps in bed once again..now that I have the go ahead from the healer.. I think my golden haired lover is going to be in for a VERY pleasant surprise .

 

 

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2013 in Ramblings

 
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The Crow and the Shadow

Driving through the green island, the misty hills lit by the twilight
Breathing the frozen air, reminding me that the dark season is near
The mystic landscape makes me stop, take a walk through shadow fields
Three crows pass me by and in awe I remember their names and I call out
To the queens of war:

Nemain, Morrigan, Babh Catha
Three crows fly
Like ghosts from another time
Above me in the sky

In the shape of the blackest birds, they once ruled the battlefields
Screaming for courage, screaming for vengeance, reaping the souls of the fallen
And all enemies would flee in fear at the sight of the grim war sisters
Oh mighty goddesses, I draw my sword, with you by my side I won’t fight my battles alone

Nemain, Morrigan, Babh Catha…

May 27
I need to stop taking this medication.. yes, they help the kill the pain but I hate how they knock me out..and when I dream..its disturbing ..and try as I might, I can’t escape because the drugs keep me unconsious.
Each time I fall asleep, I find myself back in Northrend..back to the time before I became chieftess…the time before the death of Crow..our leader..the first man to make me a woman in every sense of the word. It was a dark time, yet it was our moment of glory.. we were strong.. we were victorius.. we had proven we had what it took to survive in that harsh uninhabitable land.
At one time there were more of us , but a rift between Emaine,and Crow split the tribe in half; those who supported our battle sister, left with her.when she was chose exile .It was hard to see brother and sister ,who had been so close, come nearly to blows. She was like my sister; she watched over me, as we trained in the desolate wastelands of Netherstorm… it was hard to see to her go, but I knew what she proposed was a sure death for everyone. At the time ,we had a secure den, and some of our people took mates,and had young.. but the battle had done something to our sister.. she changed. The bloodthirst did not leave her.. she wanted more…more battle , more blood…and ultimately more power.
After she left with her followers, I remained.. my younger brother and sister needed me..I couldn’t leave them.. I suppose in a sense ..they saved me…the last we heard of Emaine..is that she,and her group came across a pocket of ancient magic…and it drove them mad. Crow became more grim , hard.. the fate of his sister haunting him..driving him to make that final journey to find the remains of her and her followers.Before he left, he handed over the leadership to me , until his return…but he never returned.. Like his sister..he was lost to the Peaks, his life claimed by an avalanche.
It was hard to describe Emaine.. she was a force of nature contained in a frame that seemed too frail to hold in the dynamic personality. Her hair had gone white quite early in life..but the fire in her eyes was magnetic…they drew you in despite your desire to resist. She was my sister in battle. and she reveled in the lives she took,and the blood she shed..like a shadow she crept, her presence barely noticable until it was too late. She was a Harbinger of death,. and perhaps it was a good thing she had died all those years ago.. Garrosh would have had a dangerous creature at his command ,if she still lived.
I think I must have startled Fnar when I woke up with a start, sitting straight up ,when Emaine’s face appeared in my dreams, her pale face streaked with blood, her eyes glittering with madness..and a chill ran down my spine… was it just a dream , or a premonition?! Whatever it was…it made me anxious to send word to Foxtail..to find out if he had experienced the same dreams as I ..

 
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Posted by on May 28, 2013 in Ramblings

 

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Aside

May 26

I think I could get used to sleeping with Fnar’s arms about me.. there is something so comforting about being held ; its not just a physical thing but emotional as well. Touch plays an important part of our lives, be it the comforting touch of a mother to her child, the playful tussling among children..the loving caresses between man and woman. Its a shame so many people don’ t realize how important that one basic need is ; which often  goes neglected or ignored. I don’t  Fnar even realizes it himself but he seems to appreciate it when I stroke his skin, or play with his hair. He reminds me of a large cat. all sleek and golden, deadly and precise when he hunts,  yet playful and loving when we are alone. I know he has a hot temper  which can match my own.. but he hasn’t  really seen me lose my temper..oddly enough between the two of us, I find myself being the more calm one..my sister would laugh herself sick if she saw me now.

I missed Tywin ,and Sheenagh very much,and I didn’t want them to leave for Northrend just yet but as it was, they would be in graver danger if they remained..given that they are half human.and half Sindorei… the human blood would damn them to an execution as Alliance spies,even though they are completely innocent. Sheenagh does not want to return to Northrend  just yet.. she had met someone in House Goldmoon, that has taken her fancy. Given that my sister is not a flighty sort, it concerns me that she would put herself in danger… however I can’t say much.. it seems to be a trait in the Nightheart women, to follow those we care for, right into the face of danger,defying the odds to protect those we care for. My mother died, protecting my brother and I ,but in the end, she was struck down.Even in death ,she strove to protect my brother but the spear that ended her life killed my baby brother as well. All I remember is picking up a discarded weapon that laid on the street , dropped by one of the guards,and stood beside my father fighting off the Scourge, who sought to take my mother’s remains and make her into one of them.. I couldn’t have been more than twelve at the time, still a mere child by our people’s standards but that event had stripped away my innocence; made me grow alot sooner than I should have been.

After that , there was a period of time, I don’t remember  at all.. it was as if a wall had come up , blocking out whatever it was ..I often wondered what it was but something inside me, tells me I probably don’t remember for a reason. As terrible as it was , I can’t even imagine what my father went through..not remembering he even had a family all those years…then to suddenly remember and relive those losses all over again.The pain must be unbearable.. in a way I can understand his feelings.. to have had a family, a loving mate, children, to lose them  in a  painful manner, than find them once again..I think that would cripple anyone emotionally. As hard as it is on me to realize I had family left.. it is probably harder for him.. he lost so much , the years he could have spent with us , stolen from him.

When he met Fnar, I was holding my breath..I didn’t know how he would react. It’s not everyday ,that a father is introduced his daughter’s lover,and vice versa..yet.. after they came to an understanding, they got along well enough.Thank Thorim for that ! I don’t know if  I could have stayed from Fnar if I tried. Somehow.. he seemed to have filled that void in my life that I thought would remain empty. Neither of us , are in any hurry to get married; as far as I see it.. marriage is more a  little girl’s fantasy; a dream perpetuated by their parents.Those with more experience tend to look beyond that..they had time to learn who they are ,and what they want in life. They are not willing to put themselves in a position where they lose everything they are .Fnar,and I have had the time to learn who we are ,and what we want,; let others be miserable or content, bound up in rules and regulations dictated to them by society. He and I  are taking steps in a new direction with our relationship.and in the process learning more about each other.  Its definitely going to be interesting.

Soul Searching

 
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Posted by on May 26, 2013 in Ramblings

 
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The Home I will never see – Hagalaz Runedance

Vast forests with evergreen trees
Foggy hills the eye can see
The wind sweeps through a valley
That lies by the deep blue see

A village from another time
Awakens with the misty dawn
This is my home my mind shows me
The home that I will never see.”

It was a dream but it was unlike any she had experienced before.. her two worlds converging to become one whole.. her childhood home of Quel’thalas gone.. forever lost in time…descrecrated and destroyed by the Scourge.. her home in Shattrath..was only a fleeting brief memory..one she was all too willing to forget. Outland was just one unhappy memory after another. However it was Northrend, that made her who she was.. a huntress, survivor.and woman.. the atmosphere,though filled with death and horror, was also steeped in history and mysticism.. It was there she learned of the titans, but to the natives of the land, they were gods,and soon they became her own..She was no longer lost but reborn.her spirit becoming one with the land..now it was calling her home..

 
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Posted by on May 25, 2013 in Ramblings

 

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Peaceful Reflections

She awoke to the smell of rain in the air, the sound of thunder of rolling overhead ,and coolness of the stormfilled air touching her skin. Opening her eyes she looked around, and frowned ,not recognizing the place for a moment before the memory of the past night came to her. The blankets were warm but not as warm as the man who slept quietly beside her, his arm carefully draped about her,holding her against him. Gingerly she moved until she was lying on her uninjured side, the pain from her ribs not so noticable this cool rainy morning.

 Looking back, she smiled softly as she remembered being carried over the threshhold,and into the large Pandaren bed that took one wall. It was a small house,but for a bachelor like Fnar, it was all he really needed. She was reluctant to take the medicine.. not wanting to become too dependant on it but in the end she took it, when the pain became enough that she was almost in tears. Fighting the lethargy that immediately followed the medication, she asked Fnar to hold her,despite his worry that he would hurt her. It wasn’t fair that he should be forced to sleep elsewhere, this was his house, and she was the guest ,not the other way around. She wanted to feel his body next to hers, to luxuriate in the heat that he threw off,and feel his arms around her, holding her protectively .

LIke a drowsy kitten, she snuggled closely , fitting her curves to his hard planes, seeking the warmth , and protection his body seemed to offer , her long red hair fanned over the pillow ,like a blood red curtain. She had worried about how her father would react to her, taking a lover..it was a tense moment..but after the two talked at length…her father seemed ok with Fnar,though he did warn Fnar that dire things would happen if anything happened to her, or if Fnar didn’t make her happy. She wondered who was going to make sure she made Fnar happy? Everyone was so concerned about her happiness.. what about his? Didn’t he deserve to be happy as well?!  Being as wild and single as he was ,she knew that he probably had his share of women over the years; it would foolish to presume otherwise. Same with their relationship; they made no vows ,.. they didn’t need to ..they knew what they wanted : the comfort of a companion without the entanglements that marriage would bring. When they made love, it was to each other..not for the purpose of creating life,but just being connected in the most natural way possible. At one time,she was sure she wanted to have a baby …but now with the war getting uglier.. was fair or right to bring a child into the world.?! Especially when it’s parents could be branded as traitors . If it happened it happened.. she was not about to end a life of an unborn child for convenience.. their people were being thrown to the wolves by  Garrosh.. too many were dying, and not enough children were being  born. As it were, there were too many that were not past childhood,being left in charge..it was an ugly situation. Fnar was an orphan, and even he had no idea what his real surname was,  but that didn’t matter to her.. she wanted the man ,not an empty title. Did she love him? She honestly didn’t know but she knew she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it anymore. If by chance she did become pregnant, she knew she wanted him to be there ,but only if he wanted to as well. If he didn’t feel he was ready. she wasn’t going to hold it against him..raising children was a huge responsibility. However if he expressed the desire to be a father, she would do her best to help him fulfill that wish.

 Resting her head against his chest, she let the rhythmic pounding of his heart lull her to sleep , the coolness in the air, and the warmth of the bed, did much to soothe her, and she drifted off, in a natural sleep.

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2013 in Ramblings

 

Dark Days

May 22

I had no idea of the event that would be transpire after my dismissal from the healer’s care. Fnar was taking me to his farm, so I could recover from my injuries in peace and quiet,which I so desperately needed ,and not getting in camp. We had landed in Halfwill ,and was just heading over when I heard my father’s voice calling out to me, surprise clear as he asked me what I was doing in Halfhill.  I could see on his face that he was curious about Fnar,and looked at me with a look of fatherly concern,waiting for me to explain to him.  There was a look of fury on his face when he saw my somewhat tattered appearance,and I could feel the anger simmering from where he stood. Fnar, quickly seeing the situation, stepped forward,and introduced himself, easing the tension slightly. 

Recalling my manners belatedly, I  introduced my father to Fnar,and suggested we go inside to talk further. I could feel the tension in the air, as the two men in my life, sized each other up,like two dogs meeting each other for the first time.As  I started to make my way into the building,a wave of dizziness came over me , causing me to weave slightly on my feet. Quickly  Fnar  slid his arm around my waist to support me, and guide me into the house, My father  followed inside, and watched us like a hawk,his face set in disapproval. To say the awkwardness was apparent was an understatement. Without preamble my father demanded to know why I was covered in bumps and bruises ,which I responded ,trying to keep the mood light,and praying neither of them came to blows . Fnar explained it a little better, which had my father fuming ,but I noticed that he looked a little worried when he saw the bruising on my face, Fnar had mentioned, that I had looked a lot worse when I was brought in.. I don’t quite remember  what happened either. After he explained the events  that had transpired , regarding my altercation with the Mogu,and the reasoning behind my being sent there to patrol, ,my father looked positively murderous.

 That’s when things really starting getting bizarre.. for some odd reason known only to men,they decided to join forces, once they discovered they had a common enemy,and a common goal; keeping me protected. It was also then that my father explained the real reason why he was here..he was part of the Rebellion that was rising up to overthrow Garrosh. I only heard hints and rumours but passed it off as speculation until my father revealed to us that it was indeed true. Another reason for me to worry, especially after I explained to him about my commanding officer investigating him for some odd reason. That was when Fnar stepped in ,and revealed that he,and Commander Morningstar were also involved in the Rebellion as well.Now I didn’t just have my father to worry about , but my lover as well… both of them were up to their eyeballs in this ,and considering both of them were pretty tall men,, that’s pretty deep.While they were discussing the situation, I sat there trying to absorb it all.  As if things couldn’t get anymore weirder.. there was a knock on the door,and Commander Morningstar’s voice reaching us as he requested a word with Fnar.Clearly my lover wasn’t expecting his partner, and he jumped ,before inviting Commander Morningstar in. Seeing that we were both here, he broke the news to us, after we introduced him to my father.

It seemed like Lt Commander Lightshadow took the easy way out,and hung himself to avoid prosecution. He had been scheduled to face a closed tribunal in regards to the accusations brought against him.I can’t say I wasn’t happy to hear this news, however it  did surprise the hell out of me. When the commander found out my father was also involved in the Rebellion,and that he had been under illegal investigation, they seemed to have clicked .From the letters that were confiscated, apparently the late Lt.Commander was very busy trying to gather evidence on other people as well, and had a list of people he had planned to blackmail ,my father’s name being on top of the list. I was horrified.. even more so , that even by association, that I could be accused of treason …well in for a penny, in for a pound. Even if I wasn’t actively involved., it wouldn’t matter to those who wouldn’t hesitate to call me traitor if it suited their purposes;however things being what they are..they are going to be alot worse if Garrosh continues as Warchief. I don’t know what I would do if I lost Fnar, or my father.. the thought left me cold.

Right now my main priority is to heal up and get better..as it was ..the cards were laid on the table,and an unlikely alliance formed between the four of us. My father seemed ok with the knowledge that Fnar and I were lovers; hard to miss..there was enough hints to told him how much we cared for each other… of course this was after they had their time spraying the room with testosterone. Men..who can understand them.. however I ‘m glad they are getting along..despite the bizarre ness. Guess we will have to see what happens in the future.

 
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Posted by on May 22, 2013 in Andromedda, Ramblings