When I met my younger brother.. I think we were both nervous , since the only knowledge we had of each other was through stories ; not very accurate ones I wager. He was the remaining child ,of my father and Reaylm. After the first awkward meeting, we found out that we had more in common than we realized,and resolved to get know each other ,to make up for the time ,we were robbed of. With his mother’s red hair,and easy smile, he still had the Winterbourne striking looks ,that made for a striking young man. He would be breaking alot of hearts among the young ladies; course being his big sister, it was my duty to make sure , certain women don’t try and take advantage of him,and play him ,like his brothers have been played. I am not ready to lose another brother.
The meeting with my father was supervised, given the recent history., the Matriarch wasn’t quite ready to leave him alone with me.. not that I can blame her.. both of us have alot of healing to do .Oddly enough ,my birthmother’s own words confirmed that I was indeed my father’s child..however the rest of her diary..only confirmed his suspicions of her cheating on him. I had found her diary by accident when I was given her room,upon our return to the Goldmoon estate. I had been exploring it when I noticed a loose floorboard. While trying to return it in place< i found a wrapped bundle underneath,and discovered her diary. When I opened that dusty volume, I was shocked by what I found in there. She had been unfaithful all throughout their marriage, but he got his revenge. The one night he had with her, was enough to sire me , and curb her wandering ways. Her lover at the time, discovering that she was pregnant with her lawfully wed husband’s child, left her high and dry for more profitable pursuits. She used my existence as a weapon against my father, threatening on more than one occasion to end the pregnancy if she did not get her way. It made me sick that she would use me like that, before I was even born against my father . The more I read, the more sickened I became at her childish behaviour,and the more I became to understand my father a little more.
After I was born.,she seemed to settle down for a little while but that didn’t last .before the tantrums and the emotional blackmail began .. she found out about his mistress then,and decided to use that knowledge to her own ends. To her , I was nothing more than a burden; a weight around her neck. preventing her from pursuing her previous hobbies; like seeing how many men she can manipulate. It was painful reading that…then I found out something that put a whole new twist to everything I believed..my father, had planned to take me from her ,seeing that she had proven to be an unfit mother..he was going to divorce her,and marry Reaylm,raising me instead.. Reaylm not realizing that he meant to do that, thought he was going to have me killed because he believed that I was not his child, warned Silena..who took me ,and ran.However it was Silena , who had set the fires before she left, making people believe that my father succeeded in his assassination attempt….all this time .. he had been innocent of my supposed death, but no one would believe him.. not even me.
In some ways my mother’s diary helped clear up the confusion on what happened that fateful night.. however it destroyed any respect I had for her..to her .. I was nothing more than a tool to be used however she wished,a burden in some cases.. there was no words of maternal love ,no indications that she was happy that I was born.While my own mother loathed my presence, Reaylm welcomed me with open arms, she was the mother I wished I had ; not that I have hard feelings for my foster parents ,but I always felt alone , disconnected. Though my father and Reaylm are divorced now, oddly enough .. they became better friends than they were husband and wife. Though they were still connected through Shiav, Reaylm made a surprising announcement..she wanted me to consider her as my mother.She had already accepted me as Corvus’ child,but she longed for a daughter ,and lost the only one she bore . It made our current situation particularly awkward but she smiled and whispered that she would convince Sivad,that it was better this way. I don’t think he’s going to have much choice in the matter..but knowing him, he would not deny Reaylm this..such is his love for her.As much as I cared for him..I don’t think it was love as much as a young girl’s infatuation with an older man who had took her under his protective wing,and kept the danger at bay.